my side of the story - Rachel

I figured i'd let my journal tell the story about how this whole thing started:
i used initials a lot so CJ means clint and if you know my school friends you'll know who the rest are. also i am very casual in my journal so it's not really grammatically correct.


Oct 13 2007
"really dont know what to think....
so there's this guy that i have been kinda curious about for a little less then a year... at first i thought he was a jerk.... and then i started trying to see if maybe there is something more to him... and i really think there is... i kinda like him... he's fun and weird...ately i have had quite a few opportunities to hang out with him... and it's really fun. i think we both have a lot of issues and i know we dont trust each other yet... and i am unsure about how he feels but .... i just want to get to know him better..... but that's what i said last year and that scares me.....cuz i dont want a repeat of last year. ...

but we just hung out almost all day today.... we worked together and then he went out with me and dana and joel to the mall and sally's and taco bell... it was fun...
then we went back to ramsyer and ended up watching the matrix in his room... me and him and curtis

then we just hung out in ramsyer... i ended up piercing my nose and my cartildge [which i was planning on for months before hand]..... it was fun... DE, JP, SL, and JD were all there for a while... but after i did my nose i was def not sleepy and the lounge was open for another hour so CT and i just hung out.... talking about random surface stories....

i just think that we both have a deeper background that we want someone to share it with but are also both VERY guarded....

i am just really scared... because i really am ok being single... i mean i want it to happen eventually... but i am still doubtful of myself.... and that scares me to death... i dont want to do anything stupid..... i am scared that i already have..... GAH! why does this have to be so hard?"

Oct 14 2007

"what the heck?!?!?! i think God is totally throwing me a curveball. wow! i dont even know how to begin.....
today dawned a normal day...... i woke up to sarah pounding on my door asking if i was awake [ i had a sat class]... i looked at the clock and about died.... it was 8:20.... i had class in 10 min..... i went to class and that was normal and good because he let us out at lunch break for the day because he wasnt feeling too good..... so after lunch the plan was to take a nap... yeah that did not happened... i laid down and was thinking about CT..... just praying cause i was so unsure..... and who should call me but pammie... i ended up talking to them for about 2 1/2 hrs... it was great.... so then i went to dinner and was planning to take a shower afterwards before leavig for sophsmores.... lacy asked me to go with her so that there would be 3 extra seats i the car and jonathan could help get other people there....

it was so much fun... CT was there.... and we were both snap happy... we kept on teasing each other and taking the others picture... it was an interesting version of flirting i guess.... at one point i was talking about foster and we sorta made a date to go tomorrow after lunch.... i thought that was the extent of it for tonight ... i was far from right...

yeah so we ended up stuffing the six of us (DE, JP, JD, SL, me and CJ ) all in JDs car... DE was on JPs lap and i was stuck in the middle...... i was feeling very claustorphobic....and CJ kept trying to make it better :).....
so we all get back ... DE and JP go to walmart and SL suggests a walk.... and CJ came along..... wow... we were flirting so shamelessly... in our own different way.... it was so much fun....
so we get back to ramsyer and walk over to the picnic tables... and clint and i go to the other one and we just talked for a while... he ended up telling me that he likes me.... and i told him i liked him too.... and we decided to initiate a relationship... we are both scared out of our wits..... but we both think it is a God thing.... it's amazing.... we talked about where we want it to go..... he used an amazing analogy... i just love it..... he said our relationship is like a sailboat.... life is our ocean.... but the thing that really got me was that he said that God is the wind.... that he should be the one to guide and lead us.....wow! that's exactly how i want this to go... i really think that the both of us are in the right mindset.... neither of us could stop grinning.... it's amazing....

and then we reflected on how ironic it is that the thing that started this was him saying that he hated me... because i was going to hot topic.... and then he ended up going and we ended up hanging out... and he's going on a missions trip with me that was supposed to be full....

wow!

i still cant believe it....."

Later the same day:

"Clint and i went on our first date today... we went to foster park *sigh*.... it was perfect...
we just wandered around... ended up sitting by the fountain for a while just talking.it was great... we climbed in the happy tree.... and he said that no picture could ever be bad if i am in it... it was adorable... i'm not quite sure how to take those complements yet and he told me to get used to it...then i took him to the bridge..... and we just talked the entire time... it was really amazing...we went to his room and played video games for an hour and i told josh and josh did the whole so ya wanna date my sister gag...... then we went to lunch... we got some strange looks cause we already have wierd ways of saying things to each other like " i hate you" between us is not a bad thing... and when i call him a dork it means "your cute i like you" and he calls me nerd.... then we went to ramsyer and he grabbed some books and we went back to bethany and did homework in the lounge until his accountablity group.i called my dad anticipating the worst... but he reacted amazingly... he didnt flip out at all... he was actually rather supportive of it.. mom just doesnt want this to affect my grades negatively...

so then clint imed me and it was amazing cause we both talked to our parent tonight... they were really supportive as well. ... it's great.... it made me so happy... i def think its another God thing... that both sets of parents reacted so well...